This week’s blog has been written in advance, as it has been one of the highlight weekends of my year. The annual ‘miscellaneous medics’ golf tournament. 8 of us who met either at medical school, or in the first year or two as junior doctors, have got together annually for over 20 years now to play increasingly bad golf, drink more than we ought, celebrate friendship, and share our worries. We are spread over a rather large area geographically, and for many this is the only time we will see each other in a year, but slip back in to the comfort of good old relationships in a heart-beat. I recall writing about this weekend last year, but make no apologies for repetition as the underlying message is of huge importance.
12 years ago I worked in Australia for a year doing a heart transplant fellowship. It was an amazing year, and one I will always look back on fondly. In fact, my daughter was born there, so we came back with significant extra luggage! Every now and then I get a call from my old colleagues with a job offer. As we hear in the press a lot at the moment, there is a big issue with doctors’ exodus from the UK in search of better working conditions abroad. Currently a staggering one third of trainee doctors plan to leave for Australia or New Zealand within the next year, and I sometimes wonder who can blame them? The salary increase is in the 3-4x range compared to the UK, for less hours, in a less stressful environment, and that’s before one has considered the weather! Some of my patients have questioned why I don’t also jump ship given the chance, and the answer has nothing to do with medicine.
Happiness is an odd thing. We all chase it one way or another. There is also now a lot of scientific research into happiness, and certain themes always bubble to the top. One of, if not the most important determinant is the quality of our relationships with others. Studies have shown the man that cleans the office is often just as, if not more happy, than the CEO who owns the building. Provided he has enough money to meet basic needs, the cleaner who is well liked, respected and has strong relationships is more likely to be happy than the boss who is stressed, time-poor and has not cultivated those relationships.
Would I be any happier in Australia on a much higher salary in the sunshine? My family and I have discussed this at length and we are sure not (that doesn’t stop me wishing it were a bit warmer here!). The recent family struggles with my Mum’s dementia would have been impossible to navigate from afar, and I’m sure I could not have provided the support for my Dad that he needs right now. Missing weekends such as the Medics Open would be terrible. At 46, the likelihood of me making such close friends overseas as I have here are very low, and I treasure them dearly.
Whilst I predominantly write about the heart, I am fascinated by the concept of healthspan. There are various definitions, but essentially it boils down to the years of good quality of life that you can enjoy rather than simply being alive. Heart disease and other cardiovascular disease undoubtedly plays a huge role in this, as living with chronic conditions is no joke. There is so much we can do in terms of preventative medicine in this space however, as to minimise the risk.
Preventative medicine in itself is so much more than the usual suspects of heart disease risks like weight, smoking, blood pressure, cholesterol and so on. The quality of our friendships is probably not something that we give all that much thought to, but it is of the utmost importance when it comes both to happiness, and healthspan. It’s also something that doesn’t happen by chance. It’s so easy for time to slip by without planning that meet-up, arranging that dinner…
You know I like to set a little homework from time to time in my blogs (and thank you to all to messaged in with their ‘hard things’, so here is today’s: stop what you are doing, and think of a person you haven’t texted or called for a while, and wish you had got round to it. I know I’ve got such people! Text them or call them now, spontaneously, out of the blue. I’m confident you’ll feel glad you did, and they will be too. Who doesn’t like to hear from an old friend?