Happy New Year! I hope you had a good holiday season. I’ve been on leave for a few days, which has been lovely other than a sudden decision to DIY and repaint a room. Now it’s done, I can look back with satisfaction and think job well done, but at the time it was rather a pain, and seemed to go on forever (much like what many people think about exercise!).
I can never decide at this time of year whether I’m for or against New Year’s resolutions. I definitely think a period of reflection is important and useful, but I also disagree with grandiose promises to oneself of losing x amount of weight, exercising for y days a week and so on.
Why do I disagree? In my experience the overwhelming majority of people simply won’t keep it up, meaning in my view it was always a pointless exercise in the first place. However, I am all for habit change, but just done in a way that sticks. I expect nearly all of us would like to change something about ourselves or our lifestyles. We all look around at others and inevitably make comparisons, then think how we might like to change this or that. I certainly do. Off the top of my head, the first thing that comes to mind in my case is behavioural. I often find my mind is flooded with stuff to think about, organise, or do, and I therefore feel the need to fill every waking moment by doing something. I wish I could be more chilled. I also wonder why that is the case for me? My wife has always said I’m someone who needs the company of others, and that I’m not very good just being on my own, and I think this may be part of it. I think I am uncomfortable doing nothing, I do not like it, and so my mind comes up with stuff to ruminate on to avoid the discomfort. This simple gives me more things to do, and so the problem goes round.
Looking ahead to 2025 then, how should we look to implement change? There’s a lot of science around this, and the first thing to note is that not all strategies will work for everyone. However, much like the nutrition advice I give my patients, there are some commonalities that will help.
Back to the top, and let’s use weight loss as an example. I always discourage my patients from making a big bold statement of their weight loss goals. Instead, make a really easy target for yourself. Remember this needn’t just apply to weight loss, you can use it for anything. Our brains are wired for reward, and so if you can achieve a really east target, you are much more likely to come up with another. If you fail at a big target, you are much more likely to do the behaviour that you’re trying to modify in the first place.
Second, try to tag the change to something you already do. Let me try and work this into an example for myself, see if I can help myself in real time. I really don’t think I need to change anything in the exercise / health / nutrition space – I do all that really well even if I do say so myself. However I want, for want of a better way of saying it, to be better at relaxing. This is a bit tricky as it’s rather vague. However, I’m going to set myself a target of 2 minutes per day, where I’m not looking at a screen, I’m not ‘doing’ anything, not even meditating (as that’s still doing something in my view). I guarantee I will have the urge to get my phone out and check something.
I think the best thing I can tag this behaviour to is waking up. It’s something I do every day (hopefully!), and my default behaviour as soon as I’m conscious is to quickly do that day’s wordle puzzle, then jump up and get in the shower (with the ice-cold water exposure, obviously!). Instead, I will spend 2 minutes doing nothing, feeling uncomfortable.
Doing this mental exercise just now has actually been a bit of a challenge, but also rather rewarding and revealing to me. So what I would like you to do now is the same exercise. Hopefully you can spare a few minutes to really think about it. Not just a cursory think, but a proper think. I’m sure you’ll also find it a challenge, but also rewarding and revealing.